Are you undatable?

After being in a five-year relationship and taking a well-deserved break, I’m contemplating re-entering the dating scene.

Part of me says yes–the hopeless romantic part, the one that thinks with the heart. The other part of me, however, says heck naw! That would be the more logical part, the part that thinks with the head. The part that always wins. Well, not always, but for the sake of argument, play along. You promised, remember?

At this point, I’m not dating material. Or, girlfriend material. Not wifey material, either. So, I’ve deemed myself undatable. (Undatable is not officially a word, unless you’re officially…well, undatable…and I am, so it is…lol).

Now there’s nothing terribly wrong with me. No, I’m not perfect. Yes, I have my quirks. Everyone does, even if they don’t admit to them. I do. Actually, I have a thing about admitting my imperfections. I kind of get off on it, actually. I’m weird like that.

But why am I so undatable?

(1) I hate the dating scene. I’d much rather have a c-section without anesthesia than go out on date with different man every Saturday night. And, I hate all the pre-date drama that goes along with it. The planning. The gussying up. The being “on” of it all. And, especially, the hiding the date from my teen-aged son. I hate lying to him. I much prefer when the relationship gets to feel like your favorite pair of worn-out sneakers–that’s when it’s good and comfortable. That’s what I want, but I can’t get there without dating and since I’m not ready, I’m undatable.

(2) I kind of like the single life. I love being in a relationship; don’t get me wrong. But I’ve earned the right to be self-fish and just do me. Plus, I’m kind of enjoying getting re-acquainted with the person I unintentionally lost in my last relationship. She’s kind of interesting and pretty cool. I’d forgotten just how much, so I’m undatable.

(3) Dating requires compromise, I’m not ready to do that yet, so I’m undatable. Right now, if I don’t feel like watching a violent action flick or I don’t want to make my bed up, it’s not affecting anyone else but me. And, if I meet a so-called “good man” that’s 40 and financially insecure with an less than stellar work history, he doesn’t even register on the old date-o-meter. So, because I’ve rediscovered my pickiness (I know, I know…I can’t help it) and refuse to lower my standards or compromise, I’m undatable.

Plus, there’s a really gratifying sense of freedom in singlehood–even single motherhood, especially in single motherhood.

Being undatable is not a bad thing. No ma’am it’s not. Actually, it can be the very best thing in the world for you, your child and your future mate. After being a relationship of any significance, it’s always best to take a breather and rediscover one’s self. What do you like, love and not really care for about yourself? Are you happy with your station in life? Is there room for improvement?

I haven’t answered all the questions myself, which means I’m not ready. So, until I am, I’ll remain undatble and happily so:)

But the question is how undatable are you? Why?

8 thoughts on “Are you undatable?

  1. A male perspective?

    Hi there,

    I am following others’ blogs and articles and hoping to solicit some readers and recognition to my blog in the the form of links, networking and referrals. I am a single dad at

    Any assistance or consideration is appreciated.


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  3. I am so glad that I am not the only one that feels undateable. I too lost a person in the last realationship and have found her to be great. I am really likeing just being me

  4. Hi Amanda!

    Well, I have an update: For the past five months or so, I’ve actually been dating a wonderful guy–so, I guess I just needed a break from dating.

    For me, it’s always a good thing to take a break and get back in touch with myself before re-entering the dating scene.

    So, no, you’re not alone. Plus, taking a break allows you to not bring drama into your new relationship, when the time is right for you.

    Peace, Love and Blessings,
    Ms. No Single Mama Drama
    Remember to keep it drama free, always.

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