Mouthing Off: Cohabitation and Kids

Ms. No Single Mama Drama Mouths Off:

If you think that living together is better than not living together, think again. In my opinion, living together can do more harm than good. First, it sends the wrong message to children. It says that I’m good enough for this man to live with and sleep with but not good enough for him to marry. To girls, it says my mother doesn’t value herself, so why should I? To boys, it says that if it’s okay for a man to treat my mom that way, then it must be okay for me to treat all women that way. Wrong!

If you think it’s okay…watch this video to see what you’re condoning:

Until June, I was involved in a four-year relationship (we cohabitated for three) that worked well for me and my boyfriend, but did not work for our kids. Though there was a lot of love and we tried to provide a family-like atmosphere, our house was still filled with drama because our kids were confused. I was so stressed out that I didn’t know what to do.

One day in church, God spoke to me and said, “move out of that house ASAP, and I will bless you with a peaceful household”. And though I felt like I was breaking my “family” up, I wasn’t. We were never a family in the first place. In order for that to happen, we would have to be married and that’s not something that either one of us is ready for, so we decided to sacrifice our happiness to obey God and do what’s best for our children: live separately.

And isn’t that what parenting is about…sacrificing our happiness for that of our child(ren)?

In September, with God’s help (I’ll write a post about this soon), I purchased a home and have had a sense of peace that I know is a gift from God. See how God honors his promises and rewards sacrifices?

As single mothers, we have an obligation to value ourselves for the sake of our children—it is our responsibility and ours alone. If we don’t value ourselves, who will? If we don’t teach our children how to value themselves, who will?

Here’s some soul food to nibble on:

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 I have been bought with a price and I belong to God.
Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

Peace, love and blessings and, of course, keep it drama free.

Ms. No Single Mama Drama
Got questions? Ask me!

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